C for ... :)

When people ask me how is life different after getting married, I usually don't get the right words, right phrases, or even a right monosyllable to explain what the difference is.

The truth is, for some people it feels the same, for others it feels like moving to Mars, for me it has been moving to a "plutoid". Life changes, for better or for worse.

I learnt a lot of new "C - words" after I got married. I had often come across these words in other peoples' lives or as passive observations, but active involvement, that was a first. 

Let's start with a tangible "C- word".

Cupboards: It can range from demarcating my area of the Cupboard to 'the one on the right is yours the one on the left is mine'. The notion is regarded with great respect generally violations of any form are indicated and corrected in due course. Before the wedding it was something my Mom occasionally tidied for me, after observing that no good was coming of the vocabulary that was being used to coax me into maintaining order in my life, in my room, in my closet.

Cooking: As per my Grandma and my Mom, culinary skills are acquired in order to please the spouse, the best way to a man's heart is through the stomach (well, this is wisdom passed on from one generation to the next). It has always been difficult for me to live by time tables, but marriage has changed that element. Now I start preparing dinner by 6 p.m., and the planning for that starts way ahead. Everything needs to be looked into, the cuisine, baked, steamed or fried, nutrition, has the menu been repeated too many times in the week, most importantly, will he like it? Before marriage, kitchen was mom's-zone and I used to wonder if cooking was an art or a science, Art because whatever my mom cooked looked beautiful and was tastefully prepared, Science because of the exactitude of ingredients, methodical treatment, and meticulous attention paid in every step of the experiment.

Cleaning: My husband is a firm believer in being organized, the cleaner the desktop,the table, the carpet, the bed, the room, the drawing room, the house, the surroundings, the better he feels. Devotion to each other is a very key factor in a marriage going a long way, and I show my devotion by complying to the cleanliness norms instituted by the new administration. Before marriage, I used to leave everything to the elements, the wind should sweep the dust in the room to a corner from where it could be easily collected, the rain cleaned my two-wheeler, the windows should be open to let in fresh air and recycle the damp, smelly, Carbon- Monoxide-y, stuffy indoors, important papers and currency used to remain in jeans pockets and go to the washing machine, I practically reinvented "money laundering" and gave it a new meaning, and whatever was currently unimportant could be put in the trash to be consumed by Fire, or better still, in some friend's car.

Cash: Well suddenly the concept of sharing looks interesting, "what is mine is yours" becomes the new motto. Before, Mom was an ATM, and any form of disagreement to the allowance norms set by my sister and me was sinful. Between my sibling and me everything had to be equal, for mom it was a choice between egalitarianism or chaos and catastrophe, additional money could be earned by winning bets.

Caring: Coughs, colds, sneezes look like major ailments now, "Honey should I get you some tylenol", "is it hurting really bad?", and these were my statements even at midnight. Before, the coolest thing that pops out of our mouth was "I don't care". Well only now I have come to realize the literal meaning of the third word in the cool phrase.

These are a few among the "C- words" that I learnt post marriage. Mom was right, we do have to grow up some day. Her words of wisdom make more sense now, I see a lot of important concepts have already surfaced from the sermons she used to deliver.

Life does change after marriage, like I said for the better or for worse. Things seem different, or you want to see them differently. Expect change. I'm trying to keep up the momentum and change with changing times, changing concepts and changing meanings.

After Marriage, I have learnt another important "C-word", C for companion, a companion you are going to have, preferably for your whole life.