My friend's son, who is 8, and I were having a discussion of sorts on the Turkey day, and he asked me "what is it that you are thankful for which starts with the letter "L"?" I wasn't very sure what answer he was expecting, without putting much thought to it, and lacking a better answer, I said "I'm thankful for my Life", I continued "How about you? What are you thankful for starting with the letter "L"?", he said "Oh I don't know, my Leg, maybe."
I didn't expect great philosophy from an eight year old boy, but he did trigger the thought, how many times have you and I been thankful for this gift of life?
Before I get struck by Alzheimer's or Amnesia, I would like to record an event where my life was spared. That is what this post is about.
This happened when I was in my twelfth grade, when I was preparing for my Pre - Board exams. My sister was getting engaged in Kerala, and I could not make it because of my exams. Hence I was home alone, so to speak. My mom was slightly worried about leaving me alone and going to Kerala and hence she requested our neighbor-n - friend to send the Nanny who took care of
their kids to sleep over at our place for the duration that she was gone. Our neighbor- n - friend was kind enough to oblige.
I was glad that I didn't have to sleep alone for the few hours that I actually slept during the exams. (Yup, I was a 'last minute crammer', and I paid for it in full, by compromising my sleep).
Well, this was the first time that I had actually talked to the nanny. She was an elderly lady, I'm guessing in her late 50's, and was very friendly and talkative (what with the limited time I had at hand to cram in stuff for the exams). She asked me all about my family, my dad, what did he do? She told me about her family. Her dad and mom were no more, one of her brothers had also passed away. The only members of her family who were still around were her younger brother and herself. I sympathized with her for a bit and asked her where she would like to sleep. She happily lay down on the couch besides the table where I used to study. She kept gazing at my dad's picture for a while, and asked me questions. I answered them in short sentences (intermitted by my cramming).
I fell asleep on my book and then dragged myself to the bed and slept. I got up an hour or two after that only to discover that the nanny had not slept, in fact, she was wide awake and was sitting upright still gazing at my dad's photo. I asked her if she couldn't sleep because the place was new or because the couch was uncomfortable, she said "No, it's because in a couple of hours it would be time to send our neighbor - n - friend's kids to school." [I started rote learning stuff at full speed, because I had only a few more hours to go before the ordeal (exam)].
The nanny just dashed out of the house without saying bye. I was too busy to spare time for good manners (even after 12 + years of convent education, because when they asked me for formulas and chemical compositions in the next few hours I'd have to come up with really innovative out of the world stuff if I would have spared 2 minutes) or to walk her to the door or to check if she safely reached my neighbor- n friend's house, hence I just continued cramming (Absolutely non-courteous ... I know).
That night the nanny came by, she looked perplexed. I felt guilty for not sparing enough time the night before (12+ years of convent education, it makes you feel guilty for a wrong- doing at the least). I started talking to her, asking her about her life, how much she liked Delhi on a scale of one to ten?, does she have any hobbies? about her childhood, she went on and told me she was single. A Keralite woman single, not a nun, thats unheard of. I asked her why she chose to stay single. (none of my business to know that, it came out in the sequence of pleasantries and I was shocked even as I realized I was asking her that). Well to my great comfort, she didn't look appalled at my audacity, and I was much relieved when she said she wasn't interested in getting married. ( In my mind : "hallelujah!! and please don't tell my mom that I asked you what I just did, she will get annoyed at my overly curious and extremely nosey question")
To my great surprise, she dashed out the same way in the wee hours of the morning again but this time I went after her and looked on to ensure that she made it safely to the neighbor-n-friend's place.
The next night she never showed up. I waited till it was really late, and then didn't think it wise to venture out. The next morning our neighbor - n - friend visited me very early in the morning and checked if he could borrow our padlock. I was perplexed, I asked him if the nanny was fine as I handed him the lock and keys, I told him she never showed up last night. Neighbor- n - friend gave me a troubled expression, and told me that the nanny wasn't well. The morning following the first night that she had slept over at my place, she came home saying she was very hungry and she ate a lot, when neighbor- n -friend expressed his concern at her over eating at her age, the nanny got angry and threw her plate away.
The morning following the second sleepover, when she reached the neighbor - n - friend's place she just picked up a knife and charged at him with no reason at all. He ducked the assault shoved her into the room and bolted it from outside. He stood by the door and asked her what was wrong. She never answered his question , she kept mouthing words that made no sense.
I didn't know how to react. I told him that she talked very casually to me on the two nights that she had given me company, but for the fact that she hardly slept.
I was rallying with the thought of her acting weird all through that day, that evening all of a sudden I heard a huge commotion, I looked out of the window and found the nanny being carried back inside the house. My curiosity got the better of me, and I rushed to the neighbor - n - friend's place to find out what the ruckus was all about.
They had called a doctor to have a look at the nanny. The nanny was singing strange songs and looked lost and distant. She kicked and jolted her legs, and let out screams of pain. I learnt that she had jumped from the balcony of the room where she had been locked. I assumed that she might have hurt herself really badly in doing so, and the scene that followed was what I had witnessed from my window.
The doctor arrived, she threw a single glance at the nanny and said "I think she's suffering a mental trauma", The doctor examined her and tried to talk to the nanny. She announced that the nanny had a fractured hip and acute schizophrenia.
She asked the neighbor - n -friend how he knew the lady, He told her that she was the nanny who looks after his kids. The doctor looked at him with wide - eyed bewilderment as if conveying with her eyes "are you out of your mind?"
She requested him to discharge her from her duties with immediate effect, ask her family to take custody of her and treat her for the fractured hip.
She went on to explain how dangerous the nanny could have been, had she attacked the kids. She asked if the nanny exhibited any exceptional behavior. Neighbor- n - friend, explained how she had suddenly developed a huge appetite and how she got aggressive when he cautioned her about over- eating. He also told her that she had tried to attack him with a knife and that's why he locked her up in self defense. I told the doctor that she had not been much of a restful sleeper the last couple of nights when she had been at my place.
The doctor looked at me and said young lady be glad she didn't do you any harm or attack you while you were asleep.
My breath got stuck somewhere in the rib cage when I heard the Doctor say that. She said people with the mental condition that the nanny is suffering heard voices in their brain which asked them to behave in a particular fashion. They tend to follow whatever their "inner voice" says. (Thank you "inner voice" for sparing my life, even after me not being too courteous).
When neighbor - n - friend called the nanny's younger brother, he discovered, that the nanny's dad and older brother were Schizophrenic too. They eventually succumbed to the mental trauma and killed themselves. The nanny had shown signs of the trauma and had been briefly treated for it. (the real reason for her being single). When she showed signs of recovery, she was shipped off to an entirely new place in the hope that she will be cured of the mental condition given the new environment. Well fortunately or unfortunately the symptoms surfaced, and she was sent for treatment after this incident.
At that particular juncture I didn't know what to do or how to react. Now, many years from that day, amidst the celebration and the aroma of a well cooked turkey and other delicacies, when my little friend asked me what I was thankful for, this whole episode played in my mind.
I'm thankful for my life. I really am. I'm not the First Indian- American lady president of the United States of America, but life has been kind to me, for the most part. I would have missed out on a lot of exciting stuff including my sister's wedding if the nanny would have tried to stab and kill me in my sleep.
I'm thankful for thanksgiving and the little boy who reminded me to be thankful, even if it was through arbitrary conversation. I'm thankful to life for all the great things it has thrown my way, including this snow flake of an anticipation to look forward to a very white Christmas.
