June 26th/27th - time zone dependent...

Yesterday was a very eventful day. Today continues to be exciting.

First and foremost it was my Ex-Roomie's Birthday. I forgot about it, but made sure I was, at least, the last one to wish her. This is where EST (in context of the US of A) came to my rescue. Though it was already midnight of 26th in India, it was afternoon of the 26th for me. (So this is why people thank God for everything, the rotation of the Earth being one of them). Hence I took advantage of the time difference and managed to scrape through Sidney Sheldon style.

I can be titled an "insensitive pig" in this context, because I remember fairly well, that for my birthday last year my dearest (ex) roomie had taken the trouble of buying a chocolate truffle cake (my favorite), waking me up at 00:00 hrs, and singing "Happy Birthday" for me, even as I thought the whole world including my mom had forgotten that I'm turning one year older.

This made me think of my roomie for a bit. (And this is not because she bought me my favorite cake for my birthday)I have not, till date, seen a person who is so understanding. She's the only one who looked at broken ribs and accidents in the eye, and was brave enough to ride pillion with me, a horrible(, horrible-r, horrible-st)  two-wheeler rider. It always seemed to me that she's perfectly at peace with herself and others because she never cribbed about other people* (*bad bosses are excluded from "people", because everyone except for kiss-asses complain about them). She made sure her public relations were to the point, nobody has said anything bad about her in my living memory . Though I lost it at times for my own reasons, she was always composed,(she's not a yogi, my constant usage of 'calm' 'peace' n 'composed' might make one wonder she was). These and many other good qualities made her the best roomie I ever had. God Bless Her Forever!!

Secondly, Bill Gates is stepping down. I am a huge fan of Mac and Steve Jobs, but Bill Gates is an exemplary. Most of us are firm believers in the generations old "graduating and making it big" formula. We do not have the courage to drop out from ordinary schools, leave alone Harvard. To believe in an idea and some "chips" (and never quit believing) and change the landscape of technology altogether, that was legendary. My salutations!!!

Thirdly, Mrs. Sabhnani, thats an extremely bad show. From where I look at you (with the glasses I borrow from the media world- over), this was in very very bad-taste. I'm sure if you really loved your kids like you stated in court, you would have known and done much better.

Next, Dark Knight being dedicated to Heath Ledger. When a trailer of the movie played a couple of days back, I told my husband they might dedicate the movie to the great actor. My husband read the news article this morning and asked me where did you read it before, "you were right", they did dedicate it to Ledger and special effects technician Convey Wicliffe,  (who was killed in a stunt accident) will also be 'remembered'. Trust my husband is fully aware that this is the general practice, and was just reaffirming what he knew. My good intention was to immortalize the "you were right".

Lastly, the lock on my main door got stuck on 26th June 2008, 1500 hrs EST, we had to figure out a way to get it fixed. If we complained to the regular maintenance personnel it will not get fixed before 600 hrs EST on Saturday, which is when I head out to Philadelphia for an eventful weekend with family. So we had to con the emergency services personnel into believing that our whole life was dependent on the well being of the lock. 

Nature, Gas prices, Lucifer's army and my husband's boss, I request you to be conducive to my small wish and leave us alone this weekend, kindly concentrate your energies somewhere else. All of you vile forces, go away, little rose rim wants to play.

Imagination (Un)limited. 1

Looks like it is the celebrity visit week in dreamland. Yesterday's  dream was even peppier, and this one, I wish comes true.

I am working in Japan, at a site owned by TATA industries (Globalized even in my dreams). I take a bullet train to work daily and I sit in the same last row everyday. One day as I walked in I saw a couple of new faces. I walked past them nonchalantly. The train started moving, soon after an older gentleman lifted his phone-like device up and called out my name. I looked in his direction, he said my mom just sent a message to call her back.

The bullet train was owned by TATA group, and they were running a test trial to receive all the messages on a single server and dispense it from there. Hence that phone- like device was the server. All the messages sent to the train were coming to the phone- like server which the gentleman had, so did my Mom's message.

I got curious, I wanted to learn how it functioned and what were the benefits of installing such a system on the train. I asked the elderly gentleman, he told me one of them was that even if you are in a no coverage zombie- zone you'll stay connected because of this device. I also wanted to know if this could be of marketing value, once the train was used for commercial travel to the new sci-fi shopping mall that we were building. I asked him a lot of questions with child-like curiosity, he patiently listened and answered. Somewhere in the conversation we also talked about India's double digit inflation. He started with "Inflation is good and bad, it also affects shareholder value." I said "increase in Whole sale Price Index and good, are you an owner who gets all products and services free and/or some special subsidized rate, we both laughed at the fairy tale win-win".

He said " No I diversify, I don't like putting all my eggs in one basket. I see a challenge in every industry, as if it were a puzzle only I could solve. I recently delivered the One lakh car, it has been a dream to produce an affordable car for the Indian Middle Class. You must have heard about it."

Curiosity changed gears, became wide eyed bewilderment. The man behind it all, Mr. Tata himself, I did not know how to react, him discussing childish economics and technology with me??? I looked around and found people staring at us, listening to what he had to say. Holy Crap!!!! I asked him "Can you give me a letter which says I met you and asked you some questions, you can add "intelligent" as the adjective for the questions".  "My ex-boss has a letter from you which he keeps as a souvenir I would love to have one too." 

Mr. Tata hand writes the letter and extends it to me. I reach out my hand to take it from him, when my "dearest, ever-loving, sugar and spice and everything nice" husband shook me out of the bullet train in Japan and I fell with a thud onto my queen-size mattress in New York without saying Bye to Mr. Tata. What a happy ending....

I could have asked Mr. Tata to adopt me... well there goes, my economics, marketing, japanese technology and sci-fi mall.

But I loved the Mr. Tata of my dreams, he looked as majestic and refined in my dreams as I see him in the newspaper photos, online images and news clippings. I could see (or imagine) the person was him, but not make out who he is before he talked to me about what he does, Dreams are strange...

If this trend of celebrity encounters continues in my dreams, Wish to see Larry Page & Sergey Brin next.

Imagination (Un)limited.

I had the strangest of dreams yesterday. So strange I'm still wondering why I had it? 

If you are someone from Malludom you might understand the cast of characters, for the others,the names Mohan Lal and Mamooty need to be replaced by two extremely popular contemporary movie stars, in their 40's/50's (talking about their screen age) who are still cast as young college goers flirting around with chicks who could be approximately their children's age.

The names used are not in reference to actual people or their characters, trust dreams are still allowed to be unbridled and not goaded. Pure dream and coincidence, everything that follows.

The dream goes as follows:

I'm taking my mom, my two aunts, a 6 or 7 year old boy (I have no clue who he is, any resemblance to someone living or dead is purely coincidental) to meet an actress (again can't figure out who), Mamooty and Mohan Lal, in that order. All the characters of great fame are supposedly acquaintances.

We get into our car, and reach the actress's sprawling mansion, I meet her and her toddler, my family talks to her as if they have known each other forever, the boy is playing with the toddler. After the niceties, and just as I am about to ask if we could move on to our next stop which is Mamooty's house, Mohal Lal drops in at the actress's place. In my dream the two M's are jealous of each other, and hence mentioning one to the other isn't going to be taken pleasantly. Just as Mohan Lal reaches the welcoming open door and I'm rushing in to tell my gang not to mention about our next stop to the approaching visitor, my aunt spills out the beans and asks if it's time for us to leave, and asks me to call Mamooty and let him know we'll be there in a few minutes. Mohan Lal is sadnsurprised that we are visiting Mamooty first, I'm under the shock waves of an OMG moment, they are both good friends of mine and I didn't want to give an impression that I like one over the other.

Mohan Lal being the sporty kind says he will join the gang and visit him with us, I breathe out a sigh of relief.I'm helping the actress secure her mansion before leaving, because she's coming too. From the corner of my eye I could spot suspicious characters lurking around her house, which made me double check the locks and bolts. We hop on to the back of Mohan Lal's car. I tell him that I need to pick up gifts for both Mamooty and him and would need to go to a gift retailer first. He takes us there and hides behind a curtain to protect himself from fans and paparazzi. I do not approve of any gifts at the outlet since nothing is to my taste or theirs. I spot Mohan Lal at the billing counter he has already purchased a cheap looking yellow shirt which he thinks Mamooty would like(I didnot). I decide to look up for another shop near Mamooty's place and get him something.

Mohan Lal drops us at the Kerala State Road Transport Corporation (KSRTC) Bus Stop. I am taken aback, Mohan Lal says he will be joining us in a bit after parking the car. We wait at the bus-stop, fully aware that there's only one bus in every two hours to his house, after a long and tiring wait, the bus arrives, my aunt goes and checks out the feasibility of us getting into the bus, she says it will be difficult there's a crowd of men standing by the door, to get past them to the emptier and vacant side would be a struggle.

 I ran the scenario of waiting for the next bus and how crowded that too would be and planned on boarding the bus. By then the Bus was already in motion, my aunt ran after it yelling "wait for me"(in english- to a conductor and driver on a KSRTC Bus). The little boy tugged on to my arm, I reached the entrance to the bus, and saw men who pushed against each other, their lungis were folded way above their knees. I could either jostle in through them and cringe as they rubbed their crotches against me or wait for the next bus, I decided to crawl in, that way I'll be below their knees and way below and safe from their crotches and best of all be there before it gets too dark. Their lungis mushroomed over me. The boy followed me into the bus, but once I got in, I was not able to locate my gang. The dream ends causing me discomfit.

I thought about this dream I had and deduced the following:

1) I watch too many malayalam movies (especially these days because I have a lot of leisure,and looking for good stories which I could appreciate), I should reduce the count.

2) Who was the little boy? Who was the actress?

3) The two great Ms of Malludom, are they really jealous of each other?

4) Yellow shirt, Mallu men of today, I hope have better tastes, than gifting each other shirts the color of banana chips fried in coconut oil.

5) Even my dreams are haunted by KSRTC buses and Bus stops.

6) In my mind KSRTC buses are boarded by people who wanted to go from A to B who look for seats and sit down, and by men who wear folded lungis, push and shove by the door, and wait to rub their crotch against women who really have no other intention but to board the bus.

7) Was this a women's liberation dream, women accompanying me, Men all bad and jealous, and a little boy who tugged to my arm to protect him? Old style Kerala women's liberation which is not really about women or liberation?

8) Wouldn't it have hurt the ego's of the men of malludom when a house-wife like my aunt speaks to a KSRTC driver in English, I'm sure they will make fun of her until she forgets the alphabet and avenge themselves, how could she use a language that their lungi clad selves haven't mastered yet?

9) When I finally struggle against a man's-world, break the glass ceiling (ha ha ha) and make it into the bus, no one from my gang (of women) were there to see me gloating.

10) Why does the dream end in discomfit? What embarrasses me, the fact that I made it, the fact that I didn't see my people, or the fact that the crotches of malludom were stunned at my insolence, and the fact that I made it through should give them another reason to call me an arrogant bitch.

Good and bad are in all of us, but we rely on the "Lucifer principle" and blame evil on someone else. Not all men are bad and and just crotches with faces and not all women are good.

Like I said we all can find the Lucifer in others but not in ourselves.

As for the dream, I'm going to check if someone is bold enough to buy the story, Imagination (Un)limited is the name of my "dream factory", pun intended.

 

All for the love of gold...

If you ever travel to South India, Kerala in particular, you cannot help but notice the fondness women there have for gold(and coconut oil). 

My family was once invited to the inauguration of a retail outlet. Most of the businesses in Kerala which are 'for the people, by the people,of the people,' are proprietorships/family owned businesses. The one I am referring to is on the same lines, and retails clothing (brands or otherwise) and jewelry. 

We went in with our strategy in place, the invasion was divided into two battles. Stage one would be the clothing section. Since the products were relatively cheaper there was a larger chance of missing out on the good stuff than at the jewelry store where women spent a couple of milliseconds more considering and deciding which piece to pocket. Hence we could sweep through the clothes section in a couple of hours and then take the jewelry section by its horns.

My aunt and I jostled through the crowd that rummaged through the clothing section, hoarding whatever pleased the eye. The competition was on, whoever got to the design first had a greater possibility of owning the piece. We competed against people who spoke different dialects/ accents of English, Malayalam, Hindi (& rare instances of Kannada) making our way to the prize. 

The next battle was at the jewelry store, and a bird's eye view of the crowd indicated it was not going to be easy. We managed to swoop down to the counter and have a look at a few designs, but the jostling women that enveloped me made me wonder aloud "what is with women and gold jewelry, why do they like it so much?" I was loud enough for the ladies next to me to hear, they smiled and played chinese whispers conveying my message to the next friend (fiend in the jewelry battle). I could make out that my radical question had reached the extremities of the hall, because the manager on the floor caught up with the giggling ladies who looked in my direction, he heard their version of my comment, and without wasting a single moment in thinking about the intelligent and enlightening question, gave me the evil eye. The rest is history.. (which means it cannot be disclosed to mankind how soon we chose what we didn't want,paid for it and picked speed)

Advertising has certainly played it's part in accentuating interest in this jewelry outlet, but what of my grandma's contemporaries who were overpowering us in the battle for the prettiest piece. My grandma and her friends are as fond of gold jewelry as the rest of them tugging at necklaces and bangles, the chunkier the piece the fiercer it gets.

I guess the love for jewelry can be traced back to the history of mankind, or womankind to be precise. It means adorning themselves to some, to others it means being the best among the adorned, while there are others who think that a person's stature is directly proportional to the amount of expensive stones n metals on their persona.

To me its just something that complements the attire, only when you are supposed to look dressy.

Then the pivotal question is "what was I doing at the inauguration of a clothing and jewelry outlet?"

Like I said the chemistry between glitter, glamor and women goes way back... it's much beyond my comprehension to say the least.

Of humans and their ingenuity...

Gas prices are high, everyone is complaining about them. Lately we have come to express ourselves and react to bad news by sending funny forwards. Thats how this picture ended up in my mail box.

I was amused by human ingenuity. Even humor can precipitate invention. In my mind there was a huge clang! 

We have people designing space ships, satellites, robots that can collect (or try to) soil from martian surface, why can't they design a car that could run on alternate sources of energy.

I'm not talking about hybrids, I'm talking of a completely different cleaner car using an alternate form of energy. Driving should be like rain making, a win-win cycle wherein everything balances out, citrus paribus. (I am aware of the floods in Iowa and droughts in different parts of the world, which is definitely not a win-win, I'm ruling out exceptions and extremities ).

Say like in the picture, the vehicle ran on wind energy, or Solar energy.

I switched from the mail box and scrolled down the business news page and found that Honda has come up with a car that runs on a Hydrogen cell,the exhaust fumes being H2O. Water vapor. Am I dreaming, Man that was fast!!! you can read more about it here.

I realize that there will be CO2 emissions from this engine as well and also that the production of Hydrogen is expensive, but I'm sure they'll perfect it and sell something worthwhile and easily accessible to the masses soon.

About the car running on Solar Power, I wouldn't be surprised if someone runs out of the bathtub one of these days, with a eureka!!!, grabbing the design as a beacon to be handed over to generations to come.

Meanwhile in the developing nations, they will fight about the politics and economics of such cars, as the ozone layer continues to yawn at them in boredom. People will compete to bring out cheaper versions of the clean car, more economics and politics. Jobs will be outsourced, commotion resulting from that, more economics and politics.

Well I do hope some fearless mind comes out with a breakthrough sooner than later.

The Arctic Ice has melted faster this year, scientists say that snow-less summers are not too far away, and there are others who campaign about coming and seeing the ocean before they evaporate in a billion years.

Wish I am on the space probe from planet 'alphabetagamma' that comes to collect soil from the Earth to find out if life existed on the planet once. Far fetched but not impossible right?It might bring me a sense of deja vu if the robotic arms dig anywhere close to the places where I shop now. 

I'm super thrilled, I'm going to put on my sunscreen with SPF 45 and look for a new sunscreen with all possible chemical combinations that protects me from even harsher UV rays, and look up the newest science fiction.

{Talk about hypocrisy: chemical combinations, the production of which could degrade the environment and books which will require chopping off trees.}

The Love Guru...

BBC reports that hindus in the US are upset about the movie Love Guru. I know it is supposedly a comedy, apart from that I have no clue as to what the movie is about, but the title captured my attention.

Almost all the people I know have been in a relationship with the opposite sex at least once in their earthly sojourn. Some come out with flying colors and live happily ever after, others have a successful relationship for some days to a couple of years and then break up, and there are others I know who fail at the very threshold. 

Is there a formula that could be replicated to have a successful platonic relationship?

Who am I kidding? If there was a formula we would all have lived happily ever after. But then there are a lot of books on the subject about practices that could work. The fact that there are so many of them in the market suggests that people buy them religiously and stock them. I suppose in an hour of need they just open chapter (???) and read what to do to handle situation- ###, trust in the solution given, and apply it praying to the author in their minds. Do they have a book for cheating husbands and "snakes", enabling them to juggle between the legal and the sly courtships. I should certainly check out, because most men/ women seem to be successfully handling that.

For the most part the secret is finding the right person, once you get the right person I guess everything falls into place.

Who is the right person? You never know, hence the trial and error method of courtship. Well what if the right person lives on another continent altogether? I guess thats why we have match.com, eharmony and the likes of them... Cupid is smart enough to find his way across continents.

This makes me think of the "arranged marriage" system in India, wherein the parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, relatives,second cousins, friends, neighbors, community members, third cousins, and third cousins' cousins and may be someone who would have seen you just as you were born, who remember you pooped in your diaper when they met you once and nothing more find your ideal match for you. I am shocked that sometimes the system works, at others it crashes miserably ruining lives and desperately shaking up families. It's not rare to find a report in Indian newspapers on a bride killed /committing suicide, as a result of the atrocities inflicted on her. 

Is there a "love guru/ relationship pundit" who could fix that? Marriage counselors, I have heard. They work as well or better than the books because of the personal involvement element in the process of reconciliation. I doubt how many rural Indian women have the option of using a counselor's services, or even have access to one. It's only a very small part of India that gifts their brides glittering diamonds, the rest still go to bed sad and angry .

Well lets get back to the comedy upsetting the Indians, we all hope they do find a middle ground. We Indians take everything very seriously, lets see if the "love guru" tickles some Indian ribs.

There is God, and then there are people who love God....

I did my MBA in Cochin, for the uninitiated it is a small town in Kerala, India. On my way to the college from the railway station is St. Anthony's Church. Out there I always see people, some teary- eyed, some grateful, lighting candles and praying. 

I decided to go and pray there. (Again to the uninitiated, I am a believer). So there I was amidst teary- eyed, trouble-worn people and others, with my list. Those were the pre - Dan Brown days of my life, not that I doubt my faith now, but somewhere in my mind sits the 'Da Vinci Code'.

Well I sat there praying and opened my eyes to people who rolled themselves to the altar, or dragged themselves on their knees to the altar, tears flowing down their cheeks. People had much bigger problems than my trifles, I said in my mind, please listen to their prayer. 

Why did I talk about this instance, I wonder in what form should God manifest himself. People have a wide variety of different problems, Is God the solution, the catalyst that enhances the solution making process, an acquaintance you would like to share the burden with, someone who would not rat you out in a time of need,or someone who "sees the truth but waits"?Is the solution to our problems His/Her method of manifestation?

In India religion is huge, we take to different modes of worship, but what is common is an unshakeable, often fanatic belief in God.

For us, we have god-like religious leaders, who galvanize our path to a good and peaceful living, the other end of that path is the entrance to God's villa.

Then there are movie stars who become larger than life and people are willing to put themselves  through the same rigors in 'worshipping' them as they would to get to their God.

There are also the great cricketers,when we talk of gods they cannot be counted as people off the A-list, they are on and right on among the top two on the popularity charts, the other fave being some movie star.

There are employers who are pursued with the same fellowship as to God. If you watch any bollywood movie of the 1980's you would find a humble, honest, lowly, under paid but satisfied hero (or his dad) reverberating the famous "Sahab aap mere Bhagwaan hai, aapne mujhe naukri di, mujhe zindagi di"dialogue.(translation for the hindi challenged: sahab is often used in the context of an employer, someone given due respect, I'll translate it as Sir; so the statement would be"Sir you are my God, you gave me a job, you gave me my life"). Well, reaffirms our belief in employers being equated to the "giver- of- all".

Then there are the "rich and famous" god-like gods. Also there are the tangible ones, money and  political power could make one if not a god, a demi-god, or at the least, (borrowing Arundhati Roy's award-winning title here) "a god of small things".

Amidst all these Big and small, semi and demi-gods, there are people like me who believe in a power which looks over us, who seems billions of miles away even when right next to us, whom nobody has seen but all have felt.

There is God, and then there are people who love God..

 

C for ... :)

When people ask me how is life different after getting married, I usually don't get the right words, right phrases, or even a right monosyllable to explain what the difference is.

The truth is, for some people it feels the same, for others it feels like moving to Mars, for me it has been moving to a "plutoid". Life changes, for better or for worse.

I learnt a lot of new "C - words" after I got married. I had often come across these words in other peoples' lives or as passive observations, but active involvement, that was a first. 

Let's start with a tangible "C- word".

Cupboards: It can range from demarcating my area of the Cupboard to 'the one on the right is yours the one on the left is mine'. The notion is regarded with great respect generally violations of any form are indicated and corrected in due course. Before the wedding it was something my Mom occasionally tidied for me, after observing that no good was coming of the vocabulary that was being used to coax me into maintaining order in my life, in my room, in my closet.

Cooking: As per my Grandma and my Mom, culinary skills are acquired in order to please the spouse, the best way to a man's heart is through the stomach (well, this is wisdom passed on from one generation to the next). It has always been difficult for me to live by time tables, but marriage has changed that element. Now I start preparing dinner by 6 p.m., and the planning for that starts way ahead. Everything needs to be looked into, the cuisine, baked, steamed or fried, nutrition, has the menu been repeated too many times in the week, most importantly, will he like it? Before marriage, kitchen was mom's-zone and I used to wonder if cooking was an art or a science, Art because whatever my mom cooked looked beautiful and was tastefully prepared, Science because of the exactitude of ingredients, methodical treatment, and meticulous attention paid in every step of the experiment.

Cleaning: My husband is a firm believer in being organized, the cleaner the desktop,the table, the carpet, the bed, the room, the drawing room, the house, the surroundings, the better he feels. Devotion to each other is a very key factor in a marriage going a long way, and I show my devotion by complying to the cleanliness norms instituted by the new administration. Before marriage, I used to leave everything to the elements, the wind should sweep the dust in the room to a corner from where it could be easily collected, the rain cleaned my two-wheeler, the windows should be open to let in fresh air and recycle the damp, smelly, Carbon- Monoxide-y, stuffy indoors, important papers and currency used to remain in jeans pockets and go to the washing machine, I practically reinvented "money laundering" and gave it a new meaning, and whatever was currently unimportant could be put in the trash to be consumed by Fire, or better still, in some friend's car.

Cash: Well suddenly the concept of sharing looks interesting, "what is mine is yours" becomes the new motto. Before, Mom was an ATM, and any form of disagreement to the allowance norms set by my sister and me was sinful. Between my sibling and me everything had to be equal, for mom it was a choice between egalitarianism or chaos and catastrophe, additional money could be earned by winning bets.

Caring: Coughs, colds, sneezes look like major ailments now, "Honey should I get you some tylenol", "is it hurting really bad?", and these were my statements even at midnight. Before, the coolest thing that pops out of our mouth was "I don't care". Well only now I have come to realize the literal meaning of the third word in the cool phrase.

These are a few among the "C- words" that I learnt post marriage. Mom was right, we do have to grow up some day. Her words of wisdom make more sense now, I see a lot of important concepts have already surfaced from the sermons she used to deliver.

Life does change after marriage, like I said for the better or for worse. Things seem different, or you want to see them differently. Expect change. I'm trying to keep up the momentum and change with changing times, changing concepts and changing meanings.

After Marriage, I have learnt another important "C-word", C for companion, a companion you are going to have, preferably for your whole life.

The Best Way Out Is Always Through - Robert Frost

I love Robert Frost, He is crystal clear in the way he expresses his thought.

You should look up his poems if you want to find some interesting thoughts, thoughts that we often think, he has penned it down beautifully. I'm sure we all have read the most famous stanza by Frost,

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

  But I have promises to keep,

  And miles to go before I sleep,

  And miles to go before I sleep.

It's amusing how all these great writers come up with one-liners before the rest of us can think of the best way to phrase the thought. But they make a point most of the time.

 I'm sure a lot of people have said the thought mentioned in the subject in their minds, to their kids, to their siblings, to their cousin, to their friends. Also we ourselves must have hesitantly and/or after putting a lot of thought to it, practiced it when faced with a difficult situation.

I'm a believer of the thought, but in my mind this idea is phrased as follows "there's no other way around". I have to convince myself to go through it, after I check out every other possible route. 

But it takes a great deal of understanding and courage to take the "through"- way. The sooner we start practicing the thought I guess the lesser we struggle or waste what precious little time we have looking for shortcuts, which seem like quick-fixes but often lead to wider problems, than the "through"- way.

Another problem most of us including me face is admitting we were wrong. As I have mentioned in a post before about 'being a leader', diplomatic fearless expression is important. Thanks to whoever invented diplomacy, choosing the right words to acknowledge the wrong seems like the best solution sometimes. 

But once the wrong is committed, it would also be in our best interest to correct it within our human capacity. Whoever chooses not to correct what can be fixed, will most definitely feel like a "looser".

We will be surprised to see that once we take the "through" way, there's no mental baggage, there's no loss of energy from looking for alternatives, and we can get to fixing the wrong, if any, sooner.

Everyone does not have the courage to put such things to practice, may be it is the "through" way that has helped the great thinkers to get to the thought beautifully before us all.

Let me pause here, I want to apply the thought, before I get lost again...

I'll sum it up with another meaningful one from Frost, I think it's the "through" way that he's hinting at again here:

"I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - 

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

6 degrees of separation

"Six degrees of separation is the theory that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that  has no more than five intermediaries. The theory was first proposed in 1929 by the Hungarian writer Frigyes Karinthy in a short story called 'Chains'." (courtesy- whatis.techtarget.com)

Why do I say that, well anyone who leaves a country and settles where I stay is related to me by the 6th degree at least. Or so I have noticed in a lot of conversations that I have had. 

This makes me think, will I be at the sixth degree with Will Smith? Yippie... I love this theory... I love Marconi and all the people who contributed to the 'Small World' theory.... I love you guys.

Then again I wonder, if I am related to a Chinese, a Portuguese, someone from Nairobi, someone from Japan, someone from Australia, I have connections I say.

So then I know the Nobel prize winners and the people off to outer space.. Wow!!

Then I would also know someone in Somalia, someone in a jail in Vietnam, someone who's suffering in Thailand and in India. I also know someone who died of war in Iraq, Iran and Palestine. I know people who died of a bomb blast somewhere in Colombo.

I have second thoughts about the theory, I cannot keep myself equally excited about knowing Hugh Laurie and someone dying of hunger and starvation somewhere.

Now I know why they called the theory '6 degrees of separation' and not '6 degrees of bonding'.

Beer is cheaper than gasoline,Drink don't drive

I found this interesting.... Also made me think why do people love liquor of any kind?

It has been an ingredient in having fun, it is a must for socializing, it is important when we watch a game, you can make more friends and business associates with its help, does it make you look "cool" and "classy", may be.

So I decided to board the liquor bus to fun land. Lets put it in a more logical and understandable format.

Experiment: Is Liquor fun?

Aim: To Identify the results of having beer, on the body, mind and soul of a curious 20 something.

Ingredients: Someone to get you the beer, any occasion to have some beer, some time to enjoy and savor it (in our case observe the result of consumption), a refrigerator to chill it some more and the most important ingredient YOU.

Method: Obtain Beer by hook or crook,for instance crash into beer party's, go get it yourself, ask someone to get it for you (which happened in my case), borrow it from a benevolent friend (Oh come on, use your creativity and get one). Chill it further if required (the cooler the better). Savour the divine drink on a hot day for better results, or by the beach (again everyone has the freedom to be creative, In my case I was with my family). Wait for any noticeable change small or big. If nothing can be observed, get another chilled one.

Observation: 

1) Increase in Volume

2) Freedom of speech

3) Freedom of movement

4) Dancing to the silliest music

5) Laughing to the silliest jokes

6) Johnny Bravo becomes ideal match /ugly betty is beautiful

7) Unstoppable laughter or crying noticed after the subject has had one too many.

8) An urge to feel the wind in your hair.

9) Nobody scares you, not even ghosts.

10) In case of first timers an urge for throwing up is also noticed.

11) Growth of a new body part, the beer belly.

12) Prolonged usage can cause addiction.

Results: 

It can increase the fun factor in a controlled environment. Drink responsibly for better results.

All the strictures apart, I enjoyed it the first time around because it was chilled, but I still could not decide why it should become a favorite. 

Now I like Coconut rum better... :)

Cheers!!!!

Being a leader...

It has several meanings. The meanings change with age also I guess. 

My first tryst with the term was when I was a squad leader in class 3. I didn't know what it meant, It was my class teacher who gave me the role. She saw my eyes wide open, more because I was jinxed with the idea; was it because I had done well in test, because all the rest of the leaders she had named got good marks, or was it because I was exceptionally quiet in class and she wanted the rest of the class to behave in a similar fashion. Of all the reasons I could find out exceptionally cute did not fit the bill. Why do I say that, lets put it this way I was not the cutest in the Squad. It did dawn on me several years down the line, that teachers might have just randomly picked someone, because choosing a leader must be the last but not the least on their lists. Some of us wrote down names of people who talked between classes, well do not remember why, but I never did unless I was asked to.

Then later when I was older say a class 11 or class 12 student, leadership meant a different thing altogether. I thought complaining about something thats wrong with the system was also a part of leadership. To me fearless expression of what one thought came as a freebee with the package. Lets just say I learnt later in life that the concept is diplomatic fearless expression, and it is an integral duty of leadership; not a freebee. The person who was key in correcting my notion is etched in indelible ink on the "honorary- in - my - life" page in my memory of people.

In college it meant popularity, and in college it was further polished, and college was the formative part in describing leadership to me. I learnt it from the leaders, so to say. Each time they did something out of the ordinary my heart said "bravo!!". But since I had not mastered the art of diplomatic fearless expression yet, I stuck to the rut road which was always tread by a lot of people before me. "The road less travelled" was for people who had already started practicing the art of diplomatic fearless expression, I could not make out head or tail of the subject, to me fearless was the word in bold.

I often heard people say they wanted to be seen leading the Mob, not one with it. I wondered if someone could lead a Mob without being a part of it. Also the statement "If you are not part of the solution, you are a part of the problem" stuck to me for some time. Do people who want to stand apart and out of the Mob have the solution without being a part of the problem and learning it? At work leadership meant this to me, the one with a better solution had a better chance of being the leader, given an ideal situation. (I am taking out ass kissing, politics in its worldly connotation, favoritism and prejudices out of the picture)

I often think of a leader in terms of fauna. Say Lions, I see the leader as Mufasa of the "Lion King" Or Bambi's dad the "Prince". 

Or a lot of other Fairy tale Kings and leaders. 

No surprise that my happy place is Disneyland. 

What is leadership? I guess I learn as I see more.

 

My Grandmother...

There are a few people in life who are extremely brilliant, I believe my grandmother was one of them. She had an amazing memory. She could tell all her grandchildren's birthdays, she remembered all the incidents in her life. I am not sure till what age she went to school, but she could recite the poems she had learnt in her childhood even when she was eighty. She was an amazing manager of funds, or so I think, because cost cutting was always a priority for her.

But when it came to her relationship with other people I always thought she could do better. In her books what she was doing was right, well to others, it wasn't all that appealing. Why do I say so? Here's an example, whenever our hired help was back from buying groceries, Grandma would make sure she counted the number of fish she got. Well most of us found it slightly discomforting that she should soil her hands with fish scales and rummage through the groceries to accomplish the feat. The lady who got the groceries thought Grandma didn't trust her. My grandma's explanation was that she wanted to find out how many fishes she got for the same amount of money week after week. She used fish as her dipstick to measure inflation in the economy. Well right and wrong are relative terms I guess.

She spoke to me rather briefly, she would ask me to bring her the newspaper, her glasses, occasionally she asked me to put her cataract medication for her. I stuck around for sometime to find out if she was interested in having a conversation, seldom did I succeed.

I liked having conversations with her, because I wanted to find out more about how people lived, what did they do, how were things when she was young. On one occasion I got lucky, she gave me some glimpses of her childhood. I learnt that she liked swimming, her parents were into agriculture and the produce was directly sold by the cultivator in the market. She and her siblings used to sell what they grew in the market. I couldn't find out if she was fond of her parents, how was the relationship between her and her siblings, how did she meet my grandpa and how was it living with him? She was secretive, this increased my curiosity.

We were not the best of friends, she and I, but I admired her.I knew she had had tough times, and now it was her turn to relax and have things her way. I hardly intervened, or better, I did not exist on her list.

I was employed some distance away from my grandmother's house, say a day's journey by train. I used to go and visit her whenever I needed a break, well I'm not sure how far she waited for me to come or liked to see me, but I would like to believe she felt the same as me. 

One fine Sunday afternoon, when I was about to take a nap, my cousin called me, and said that my grandma was no more, she passed away a few minutes ago. She died a peaceful death, when all her kids were around her, and almost all her grandchildren were there too. I wasn't.

I did not cry, I was slightly shocked. I did not know how to react, because I didn't know if she ever loved me. Well, I decided to go and pay her my respect nonetheless. I hopped on into the next train, my friend helped me get a seat, but I still could not decide if she wanted me by her side.

When I reached home I saw her lying covered in white roses and lilies.I was not sure if she approved of it, because she scolded us when we plucked flowers from the garden. She looked emaciated. All who were around looked sad. May be all of us felt the void.

I did not cry, we reached the ancestral church, finally the yard. 

Then just as she was being lowered into the earth, a thought ran across my mind, was she angry with me, did I wrong her in some way? Could not pin point anything, but this was my last chance. In my mind I spoke to her, I told her I was sorry, do not know what I had done wrong but I did say sorry, just then a small drop of tear broke loose from my eye, it ran down my face and dropped to the ground, beside her. 

There's a void where she used to be, it has been there for a few years. Last Sunday I got a call, my aunt said there will be a mass commemorating her. 

I decided not to go.

what if God had a phone?

Where did I get this thought... one blue day, I was sitting around with my usual pessimistic outlook towards life, I was in Chennai and the first place that came to mind was the Santhome Cathedral. I took my little two wheeled friend, and went there to vent all the wrong that has happened to me.

I was sitting in one of the last couple of rows and wondering, how I wish You had a phone Lord, I am bugged and seems like you are the only one I can talk to about it currently. Then I imagined me talking to Him, saying these are the lists of problems I have at hand. I think You dealt me a bad hand, why is everyone else having a ball and me, I'm having a tough time....

And I thought, then God will answer the problems like an expert consultant, and I get to solve them as per the Master Plan.

Then I started pondering about the logistics of the game, was I being silly, God's number will be the busiest in the world the never reachable one. There will be a whole directory for the numbers you can contact Him on, cause one number will not suffice, every living breathing creature would want to talk to Him, even the atheist, cause they would like to make sure this is not scam.

Also God being the good one would like to make all the service providers happy, so He will have to have a connection from every one. Then He'll be busy He'll have to delegate our problems, have more angels to take care of the problem solving department, even our guardian angels will have to multi task...

Extremely tough logistics....

Then I realized the folly of my Human mind, I tried to enclose God into the physical material space.Even without the above imagined scenario, He's been taking care of me, and answering my every query...I smiled... 

Just then another person walked by and took a seat further ahead, I wondered if that person was thinking the same.

I figured ... no, the shortest distance between God and us is prayer, and I'm sure other people are not as lame as me. They would have figured all this a long while ago and so they directly get to the discussion...

Did God show me a solution for my blues that day, yes... I believe in God, so I say my problem was solved by divine intervention, for those of you who require more time to believe in such things/ do not believe in such things, I'll use the term often used by you guys, My problems were solved by pure "coincidence"...

Even though I had thought all this, the next time I felt sad, I again mused to myself, 

I wish U had a phone number, I feel like texting U and talking to U... :)

Equation : Life + a Little meaning

I often wonder, what to pursue?

what's the "purpose",and the "soul"

what is life, and what does it mean?

Is the world what it looks like, or more than what's seen?

To pursue the desire of a good heart,

and what if the "purpose" is my art?

The "soul" I think should be serene,

when goodness alone would hold the rein.

About the world, I know not if its true

It seems an artist, a dame pure like the dew,

Said "she trusted" man will be humane,

They killed her, her story ended in disdain..

But to the question, "what is life?"

what is the meaning of this mortal strife,

I still look for a plausible answer,

I feel I want to some rationale adhere.

A little kindness in small things and big,

A little prayer for someone sick,

A little gratefulness for all your "gifts",

Life sure has meaning, doesn't it?

the after life

I, like a lot of other people in the world, wonder what happens after people die...

I recently heard someone say that the light and tunnel thing that people who were recovered from the near death experience talk about, is a result of the chemical reactions in the brain just as it shuts operations... hmm so the light is also an endeavor of our thinking machine...

So how about the soul, does it lurk around? May be someone's peeping over my shoulder even as I type... now thats slightly scary... 

What happens to us after we die? The body gets completely destroyed and enters nature's food chain... how about the soul will it be recycled?

Or does it even exist??? I would like to believe it does...I also think I'm Old-school... Doesn't mean that i'll call someone who comes in with a new invention, a witch... but to me that feels more soothing.... keeps me from believing that I'm just an organism.... 

So then may be some of them do lurk around.... I'm abandoning the chain of thoughts here cause this means someone might be peeping at what I'm typing right now.... thats not a very exciting idea to live with... 

So is the soul laundered and powdered with a cloud of powder puff before it's reinforced into a new baby.... Or is a completely new one manufactured n installed? 

like a lot of other stuff that I think about, this chain of thought can also be elongated far far away and out of the milky way... Is that where they go? or even further.... pure lunacy I know..

See ya around soon... (when I'm a little less lost)... :)