In the driver's seat.

Today has been a great day for me so far. I got up early, coaxed into doing so by my alarm. I went to the ATM near where I live, it was working. I saw my bank balance, it was a huge figure thanks to my last employer.

It doesn't stop there. I achieved the unachievable after that. I negotiated and convinced an auto driver to take me to a place for the right price, without him cursing me or me frowning at him.

After that, I went to the RTO. I've been a licensed bike flyer (without gear), I wanted to add a new found talent to it, flying the car. Hence I stood in the queue for half an hour. After that a middle aged lady fought for me and shoved me ahead of the rest. She said "this amma has been standing here for long, please allow her to pay the fees." I paid the fees but they gave me the receipt in my maiden name. For a moment a scene whizzed through the spacious setting called my mind - that of me spending another hot and sunny day at the RTO to get my name changed. I quickly told him my surname had been mentioned wrongly. He, a government official, 'advised' me to get it corrected when the actual license got developed.

By the time I took the advise and jostled out of the sweaty crowd that was waiting to pay their fees, I got late. The candidature was already full for the day. The representative from my driving school asked me to go and get the signature from the inspector's office inside. I went to the inspector, after ignoring me for a bit he actually did approve my candidature for the test. Wallah! have I died and gone to heaven?

After that the actual test began. I see the car in which I practiced came for the test. This car is the peer of the first Maruti that Suzuki and Sanjay Gandhi wanted to launch in India. I knew exactly how to manipulate those extensions that dangle in the name of clutch, brake and accelerator in that car. The engine was already on, I just needed to put it in first gear and move it. Believe you me, somebody was praying real hard for me, the car started moving very smoothly. I maneuvered the steel contraption into second gear, again because of someone praying real hard, it shifted smoothly. The inspector looked at me then announced to the people in the back seat "this is how you need to drive."

"What, me, really? Oh! I had always dreamt of this day, I'd like to thank the RTO, the driving school, my driving instructor, who always scolded me in Tamil, and the entire driving fraternity for not driving on that stretch of 200 ft where my driving test actually happened." And just as the inspector had finished applauding me and was about to grade me, the car jumped slightly. I gave my broadest smile to the inspector and moved the gear to neutral.

Hey, but I was the best among the people who had come for the driving license test today, or that was what the inspector had just said. I proudly live by the compliment.

Then without much delay I went to take my picture for the license, which lived up to the standards of all government issued identity cards. I will not complain, because the photographer-cum- license document development personnel was willing to correct my name.

What the heck, I'm a licensed driver, and to me it means the government should stop constructing medians on the roads, or for that matter side walks: I have a natural tendency to go and hit medians and sidewalks. And for all those driving Audis, Beamers, Mercs and Lexuses -  yehahhahahaha (my evil most laugh). With the powers vested in me by the RTO, I shall try not to nudge your bumpers. And to all you who want to come and bump into the bumper of whatever match box I'll drive - WTF!!!

Hey, I could drive for 200 feet what more proof do you need from me, 'the best of the lot',  to brand me a reliable driver. 

Yes, the world will be a very different place when I'm in the driver's seat. (no puns intended)